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It sounded like "Mary" and "Chris." But there is no one in the family with those names, so why would someone even bring it up on this Merry Christmas day? Whatever the reason, like always, they were fighting words. What started off as angry words, turned into shoving, followed by punching and then... the inevitable gunfire. Actually, quite a bit of gunfire. Everyone packs in my family.Of course, no one was surprised. It happens every Christmas. The police certainly were not surprised. They would hang out in front of our house, in full riot gear, in anticipation of the violence that was sure to happen. I have to admit, they sure know how to club people in the head. I don't think they missed me a single time.(On a side note here... If any of you reading this decide to start a riot, do so somewhere else. Our cops are pretty indiscriminate about who they club in the head. Just ask my 99 year old grandmother. Though I do have to admit, she was probably asking for it, since she wouldn't. ’ ‘Oh of course. You are such a polite boy. I’ve left the shower running for you. Off you go and we’ll go out for dinner. You can walk I assume?’ ‘Yeah… I’ve rested sufficiently. Gee you’re a real goer in bed Roxy.’ She smiled and said well wasn’t that the purpose in life for women? He went off chucking and she heard him singing in the shower, exhibiting quite a good voice. She reasoned it would have been a long time since he last sang because bad singers don’t sing often. In the elevator the adulterer said to his hooker, ‘You are a real tonic to me Roxy. I couldn’t believe it when in the shower I began singing. It’s a long, long time since I last sang in the shower. You know this is beginning to feel like my rebirth.’ Delighted Roxy pulled out a tit for him. ‘Roxy, security cameras,’ he choked, looking up near the top of the elevator car. ‘So what? Suck my nipple and give the people who might look at the recording of what’s going on in this elevator a good opportunity to masturbate.’.
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